Maybe you've been looking for a "normal" life... when, really, nobody has one.

Do you know where your heart is
Do you think you can find it
Did you trade it for something, somewhere
Better just to have it
Do you know where your love is
Do you think that you lost it
You felt it so strong but nothings
Turned out how you want it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you wont let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
Do you know what your fate is
And are you trying to shake it
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you'll make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
Said, all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
Do you think you can find it
Do you think you can find it
Do you think you can find it
Better than you have it
Do you think you can find it
Do you think you can find it
Do you think you can find it
Better than you have it
Better than you have it
Said all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
Said all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
Do you know where the end is
Do you think you can see it
Until you get there
Go on
Go ahead and scream it
Just say

Poor Chucky Chuckles. :(

I honestly think Chuck is my favorite TV show right now. House is probably my favorite stand-alone show, but I'm okay not watching it chronologically. The Office is okay, but I really wish it were an hour long (although I don't know how good it would be if that happened, heh). Heroes is... still trying too hard sometimes, and the suspense is hard to bear. But ah, I love Chuck. I'm starting to think him cuter. It takes me a while to get past curly hair and his nose. I know I have no right to diss noses, but still. ^_^ I can't actually SEE mine, you know. <3 Chuck, I heart you. ...Michael semi-spoiled this week's twist for me. Hah.

Spoiler alert: Highlight text below

Did Chuck REALLY think that a girl who got involved with Bryce Larkin and also went to Stanford would have been clueless about all that CIA recruitment on campus? It seemed fishy last week already. :\

The blonde guy who shows up in this episode looks like a missionary I met the other day, from the Southern Baptist Convention. Haha.

...During a conversation with Sam, I realized once again that I never really pay attention to song lyrics. They blend into the general auditory effect of the song for me. So... I'm sorry if I sound emo all the time. Haha. So not true. I like my life.

Which brings me to...

BABIES.

BABIES.

BABIESSSSSSSS!

So yeah, I am now working with babies. ^_^ The organization does outreach to women who are HIV-positive, and the ministry for their babies is an offshoot of it. The nursery is called Garden of Mercy or something... I can't tell you more because I'm legally forbidden to. All of the babies are under 1 or thereabouts... they go to another orphanage after this. :\ The smallest one is less than a month old. One of the baby-babies (like... sleeps all the time) is only two months old... I think she was abandoned or something. The fattest baby weighs over 20 pounds. She's built like a little orangutan and snorts like one too, right now, 'cuz her nose is all stuffed up. XD Hahaha, cutie. There's only one boy amongst the lot of almost 10 girls.

They are total dollies. I hate to keep coming back to my stray dog analogy... Haha. But you know how stray dogs know they have no claim on your tender mercies? Whereas spoiled lap dogs have an incredible list of needs for things that can't talk? Babies are much the same. I walked into the nursery today... the one little boy in the bunch started beaming like I was his best friend. He clamored to be held, and bawled his eyes out whenever I put him down. Sigh. I want to keep him. His Chinese nickname is the same as my baby brother's, so I have these little daydreams of adopting him and calling him Timmy Twotastic or something awesome and embarrassing. He is such a cutie. Unfortunately, I am also forbidden from posting pics of them (which makes sense), but I'm sure I'll take a lot anyway. Let me describe him thus:

Chinese
Black hair
Huge brown eyes with long lashes
And adorable.

I held him for a while, and he just snuggled into me. Poor things. I'm such a big sucker for physical touch myself that I'm sure he was reveling in it as much as I was... I had to wear a bib/gown to keep his germs from getting onto me and transferring to another baby - but he kept patting my bare hands, my neck, and my face. Awwwwww. I find it hard to look at them all, bccause I want to spend hours cudding each one and making it feel special... but that's just impossible, because there are EIGHT of them. I found myself wondering if they will ever know the wonder of taking a walk outside, or riding in a stroller. Nobody takes eight babies out. :(

Yeah, I fell pretty hard, I know. It's going to be hard to leave him. I'm okay with leaving babies who have people in their lives to love them... but this aspect of ministry is one I've never really encountered before.

I'm so gone on them. <3

I can't adopt babies yet... I refuse to voluntarily enter into parenthood unless I can be sure they get my full attention and top priority. And I would like my kids to have a daddy. And I doubt Taiwan would let me adopt a baby, since I'm not a citizen.

But if I could... I'd take Timmy Two home with me.

...On a positive note, Dad's figured out a way for me to claim citizenship. Now I just need a baby dad! Any volunteers? ;)